How come some Little Debbie snack cakes come in a twin pack and others are wrapped individually?
What is a male ladybug called?
Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?
Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
If you wore a teflon suit, could you ever end up in a sticky situation?
How fast do hotcakes sell?
If you mated a bull dog and a ****su, would it be called a bull****?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
Does the President have to pay taxes?
Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on Christmas lights?
If Dracula has no reflection, how comes he always had such a straight parting in his hair?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
Isn't it kind of ominous to put your tax returns in the mail box and put up the little red flag?
What ever happened to an E grade? We have A,B,C,D,F but no E.
Don't you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their "practice" ?
Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
What do you call a female daddy long legs?
If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
In France do people just ask for toast and get French toast? or do they have to ask for American toast?
Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?
Why are SOFTballs hard?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
Why is it that lemon dishsoap is made with real lemons, but lemon juice is artificial flavoring?
If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
Why can magicians make things disappear into thin air, but not thick air?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"?
What do people in China call their good plates?
Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?
If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds?
Does a postman deliver his own mail?
If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?
Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?
Does peanut butter really have butter in it?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Do sore thumbs really stick out?
Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
Why does Bugs bunny walk around the cartoon naked, but puts a bathing suit on when he goes swimming?
If a terminator is someone who kills, shouldn't an exterminator be the opposite?
If a robber tried to rob a dance club and yelled, "Everybody get down", would all the people start dancing?
Why is a woman in a suit a "business person” but a man in a dress is a "transvestite"?
Was Dawson Named After The Creek or Was The Creek Named After Dawson?
How long is it until your relationship is considered a long-term relationship?
Can you make cheese out of human breast milk?
IF MONEY DOES NOT GROW ON TREES, WHY DO BANKS HAVE BRANCHES?
How do you know which armrest is yours in the movie theaters?
Do Dutch people always split the bill?
If you shine a light into a mirror, do you get twice as much light?
If a Truck is loaded with Helium, would it weigh less than when it was empty? Wouldn't it get better fuel mileage
Why is the blackboard green?
Why do they call it a black light when it's really purple?
How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter?
If you dig a tunnel straight through the earth, will you come out with your feet first?
Why are pennies bigger than dimes?
Did they have antiques in the olden days?
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
If Pringles are "so good that once you pop, you can't stop" why do they come with a resealable lid?
What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
Can blind people see their dreams?
Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?
Have you ever wondered why Trix are only for kids?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?
Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER?
Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?
What happens if someone loses a lost and found box?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
What would happen if an Irresistible Force met an Immovable Object?
What's the difference between a wise man and a wise guy?
If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
how can you chop down a tree and then chop it up?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?
If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas?
Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
if you fed a bee nothing but oranges, would it start making marmalade?
Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts, but have to put in your two cents worth?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?
Is Disney world the only people trap operated by a mouse?
why do the ABC song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep all have the same tune?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
If you get cheated by the better business bureau, who do you complain to?
What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
Could someone ever get addicted to counseling?
If so, how could you treat them? Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
How can there be "self help GROUPS"?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would anyone care?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
If a dog sweats through his tongue, why does he have armpits?
If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum?
If superglue is so good, why doesn't it stick to the side of the tube?
If the ..2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still ..2?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the driver end up owing you money?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read correctly?
Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
What color would a smurf turn if you choked it?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
What does it mean if you break a mirror with a rabbits foot?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
What happened to the first 6 ups?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What is a free gift?
Aren't all gifts free?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why are the cabs from the Yellow Cab Company painted orange?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why aren't there bulletproof pants?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
If your feet smell and your nose runs, are you built upside down?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?
Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?
Why is the alphabet in that order?
Is it because of that song?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?
Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread?
If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember
that they forgot?
If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players?
Do cows have calf muscles?
How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color?
Do people with one leg have to buy both shoes or can they only buy one?
Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?
How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?
What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
Do bald people get dandruff?
If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
Can mute people burp?
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?
Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?
Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
Why can’t a baby cry while it’s inside its mother?
If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?
If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?
Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?
Why do they put the names of football teams on baseball caps?
If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver's license?
How come you pay an extra 25 cents to get something put on your hamburger but they don't take off the price if you get something taken off?
If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?
Why is it that when babies are born they only weigh like 7 lbs yet the mom weighs 30 lbs more?
Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back?
If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off?
Is sign language the same in languages other than English?
Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
Why do they call the small candy bars the "fun sizes"? Wouldn't be more fun to
eat a big one?
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
Who gets to keep the pennies in a wishing well?
When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do
you call a girl that is named after her mother?
Can you cry under water?
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that ?
Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?
Why do people call it an ATM machine, but they know it's really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?
Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?
Why is Christmas colors red and green when Santa's suit is red and white?
Why do most people put more effort into their wedding than their actual marriage?
If the day before a holiday is called Christmas Eve, is the day after Christmas Adam?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
How come you can kill a deer and put it on your wall but it's illegal to keep them as a pet?
Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full?
Can you blow a balloon up under water?
Why are there pictures of the sun wearing sunglasses when the purpose of sunglasses is to protect your eyes from the sun?
Why is it illegal to put money in other people's parking meters?
Do people with big eyes see at a wider range than people with smaller eyes?
Do you ever notice those red ***** on the wires while your driving? Well what are they for?
When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?
Why does "lake" come first (Lake Michigan) and "river" come second (Mississippi River)?
If people with one arm go to get their nails done, do they pay half price?
If Sunday is the holy day of rest why do we have to get up early for church?
Why are you IN a movie, but your ON TV?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
If no one buys a ticket to a movie, does the movie still play?
Do they re-use body bags? Or do they throw them away and get new ones? The people using them wouldn’t care anyway?
Why is that when fish die in water, they float to the top, but when humans die in water, they sink to the bottom?
If money is the root of all evil then how come churches ask for it?
Do fish ever get thirsty?
Why can't we sneeze with our eyes open?
Why are all farms red?
Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Do birds pee?
Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?
Why do they call it 2% milk, if its 2% fat, not milk?
If you own a piece of land and there is an volcano on it and it ruins a
nearby town, do you have to pay for the property damage?
How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
Why do British people never sound British when they sing?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON(R), how do they make TEFLON(R) stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

-Ron

 

way too much reading......but funny none the less

 

Agreed about the reading part, that is why I haven't read it, except a few lines